If you’ve been following this #FitToFly journey, you know that I weighed in on Monday at FIVE pounds lighter than when I started. When I say “weighed in” I mean me on a scale in the corner of my bedroom, later confirming scale accuracy in a private corner at the gym. No big scene. No bells & whistles. Exactly how I wanted it.
When I saw that weight loss, I felt compelled to call & tell my family. Specifically my dad. But, as soon as the words came out of my mouth I felt myself starting to regret the celebration because I didn’t want to have any follow-up conversation about it.
(I’ve told you about my recently discovered issues with perception of other people’s expectations of my body. Hot. Mess.)
Even though I’m documenting this journey for Yes Louisville & our partnership with Baptist Health/Milestone Wellness Center, I really don’t want a ton of attention about it. I want attention for things that I find way more integral to who I am than my weight. There are only like two people who have always made me feel like I am just right exactly as I am at every weight I’ve been, who’ve always made me feel beautiful because they really see me.
Other than the obligatory post I didn’t text or tell anyone else about the five pounds. Then it happened. Someone noticed my body starting to change. Two someones. In one day. Like the call to my dad I was happy at first & then found myself battling old things in my mind. Will they ever go away?