Hey, positivity is great. I try to live my life as positively as I can, but somedays, that’s a struggle to say the least.

“Positivity” has become such a buzzword on the interwebz as of late and I am so GLAD to see everyone living their best lives. BUT sometimes being positive on days that our mental health isn’t the best and we’re feeling low, or days where Murphy’s Law (anything that can go wrong, will go wrong) seems to be in full force just isn’t realistic.

Personally for me I’ve had a lot on my plate: my grammy has been really sick, I’ve started a new position at work, and I’ve been struggling to find time to work creatively. So, I will share with you my most effective coping mechanism when my anxiety and depression are taking over and when I need to be a functioning adult: be vulnerable. 

Perfectionism is overrated and unobtainable. Being the best version of you that you can be and showcasing vulnerability and your imperfections is so much more realistic.

For the longest time I though that I needed to present a facade of myself in order to please people. Yes, I used to be a people pleaser and it was the worst for my mental health. I would give in to what people wanted over what my head and heart were telling me that I needed. Part of me was trying to compensate for what I thought I lacked (i.e. my mindset when it came to being fat.) Yes, being fat contributed to the facade because I thought that I needed to change myself physically, and otherwise, to become likable.

With much maturing and growing, I realized that it’s okay to be myself and to present my flaws, or what society depicts as a flaw. Open up when you feel like shutting down. Tell your friends that you love them even if you may not get to see them as much as you’d like because of life’s craziness. Wear the unflattering dress. Take a chance and go on that first date. Laugh too loud because laughter is contagious. Post the photo where your double chin is on full display. 

I wrote the following in my journal in 2016 and I still read it when I’m feeling low: Let us remember that emotions such as pain, sorrow, & disappointment are meant to be felt. Let us remember that feeling these emotions in a healthy way is important. Let us remember that we are not too fat to live our lives just the way we are. Let us remember that we are not a number on a scale or the opinion of someone else. Let us remember that even on our least body positive days, our bodies are so much more than anything society can define. Let us remember that we are worthy of love and friendship and support. Let us remember that every roll, dimple, and pound shouldn’t hold you back from taking up space. 

Learning to be vulnerable and take up space has changed my life tremendously, for the better. I hope that you can, with time, learn to do the same, if you haven’t already.

Enjoy more fro Shelby’s #FleurDeFat series HERE.

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