Everyone has a story. This is a glimpse into mine. I am a southern California girl, on level 37 of her life, now living in the Louisville area. I am a mom to three kids ages 8, 7, and 4, a mom to four cats and one dog. We are all rescues in a way, living imperfectly in our own little world. I am divorced, single mom, a survivor of a domestic violence, I’ve lost one of my greatest loves in an airplane crash, and I constantly want to give up every day at some point in defeat. I almost let my soul die in a marriage that was destructive to every fiber of my being, a marriage that berated me for being me. I settled on the road with less conflict and stopped flying, but that was never enough, it did not change anything. Except changed me, as I was silently in love with flight and suffocating my God given light to the world. I was told I was selfish and “why couldn’t I just be happy as a stay at home mom”.
The day I broke free from that, I began my long journey in continuing to find Hope. The road didn’t start off to a fast sprint out of the gates. It was a long humbling experience of living in poverty. Living on food stamps, cutting fabric to make diapers for my youngest, or not knowing what you would have to eat and going to multiple food pantries. There were times I was months behind on rent and only had a place to stay because our landlord had been through a much similar path and extended me mercy. I chose a path of security and eventually worked my way to the top of the corporate ladder in my field, obtaining the dream career job (at least from the corporate aspect). Six months in, I found I was working in an environment not meant for my life, not meant to foster a passion or growth and left still at the same place I was years ago on food stamps, surviving. Just, in this case, I made far more money. Something had to change. So…I quit.
I quit and I did not have another job to go to other than I trusted if God had gotten me this far who was I to fear? And God provided. It’s been almost a year of leaving the confines of those four walls and in this last year, I have lived more than all the years combined. I became the mom I needed to be. I became me. Time was reconciled, it wasn’t lost, I had always been there in my heart. At the sound of “contact” and hearing the little 65 horse engine fire up on that J-3 Piper Cub. Flying barefoot and with my kids watching, I took to the skies and it was at that point I couldn’t ignore the beating of my heart, and I went back to flying. I had come back home. Life brought an amazing position with a company I adore with the creative freedom to grow the grassroots of aviation. My heart has never lived a life so full before. Even on my most tired day from flying, I am still full of love. And I have that to offer my family when I see them.
This past Saturday I did something I dreamed about since I was a child. I took my three kids camping under the wing of an airplane and it was everything I had hoped it would be. My children took turns flying Dorie the Cessna 170 taildragger and at that moment life was absolute perfection. The lighting, the temperature, the weariness, the excitement, the contentment… we spent an entire weekend just being. We spent the entire weekend living. I didn’t wait for dreams to happen, wait to date someone, wait to get remarried
I realized that Hope was there the entire time singing a tune my soul knew all too well. Even when she was tired and weary it was still somehow there never giving up. Hope exists all around us. Find the thing that sets your soul on fire and do more of that. The world needs more of you. The world needed more of me (and it’s ok to say that!).
“Hope” is the thing with feathers –
That perches in the soul –
And sings the tune without words –
And never stops – at all.
- Emily Dickenson