So many times I have found myself leading my kids. There is nothing wrong with that, it’s what a mom is supposed to do. When my ex and I separated (and ultimately divorced) and I had to walk into DHS for food stamps I don’t think I filtered anything for my kids. They saw my grief, they saw how you have to ask for help at any phase in your life. Going to food pantries, they were with me, and when I became recurrent flying…they were there too. Some of those situations were survival and a part of life going through valleys and peaks. Having my kids present along my journey to fly again, that was more healing and reconciling what once was. Including my children on the greatest love story of my life which is flight, because, in ways, they are my greatest love story too. Being a parent is having your heart multiply and walk outside of your body and watch them is a love story in itself.

Anyone that knows me, knows I am afraid of heights. I know what you are thinking. You either know me and are laughing your butt off nodding right about now, or quizzically trying to figure out how a pilot can be afraid of heights. Well, I trust my abilities as a pilot and understand the aerodynamics of a plane to safely land. If I fall off the top rung of a ladder or second story building, I will get hurt (which means rock climbing and repelling is not the list of things to learn and work through).

With age, and life lessons I am quickly learning how to learn outside of my comfort zone. The last few years were ALL out of my comfort zone, and I didn’t die, I found myself. So this past Saturday somehow I found myself saying yes to my girlfriend that is a FlyBoard instructor for Louisville FlyBoard for a lesson. Background here. My ability as an athlete is mediocre at best. I am average. Taking this lesson and allowing my kids to watch Mommy…was letting them see their mom learn. Not just learn, but I would knowingly fail and hit…hard. I did not hesitate in letting my son sit on the SeaDoo getting a first hand show at seeing mom face plant into the water at sometimes high speeds. I wasn’t afraid of letting them see me choking on water and still laughing incessantly because I would knowingly want to get back up and want to try again.

What I have found is that my kids are seeing what life is about and I have the honor to show them as much as I can now. Life is about overcoming fears, overcoming doubt, overcoming hard hits, and chasing how to move forward. I did not filter my fear from them, nor could I have filtered my falls. They were hard, abrupt, and felt like hitting the pavement at times, lol. I will say that no matter how hard the fall, the desire and love to move forward was more present than ever. That drive, while though it comes from within, also had to do with my support system. Christina, my instructor,  is an amazing instructor met with over the moon enthusiasm and constant positivity. Her ability to encourage, and at times laugh with me, mixed with honesty and love is an example of how I want and need to continue to parent my kids.

If you are in survival mode, just outside or thinking you are doing well in life, always be aware of your surroundings. Surround yourself with amazing, supportive people who can see the good in everything. If someone’s instinct is to point out the negative, do not let that define your worth or dictate or influence your path. Find the person who will be at mile marker 20 saying you can do it, or get back up, not the one that points out the obvious risks. Find the person who will support you even when it isn’t to feed their own narcissism. There are people in the world who genuinely care about one’s path. That’s your tribe.

Until next week…do something scary. Challenge yourself even it’s having a cup of tea.

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