As the number of days grew fewer and drew us to the end of 2017, I did what most people do at this time of year, I reflected on the passing year. I looked back at how I have survived, lived, danced and twirled my way into the future with my children.
As I’ve mentioned in the past, I do not have a tradition of making resolutions. Why wait for the start of a new year to do something new or to make a change? Like flying, life is full of moments and factors that are constantly in flux. Sometimes large corrections are needed, and other times, they are small but many. 2017 surprised me, in that I found a part of me waiting for myself on each adventure. I’ve always been that dreamer in left field who has ideas and is full of energy. Our family is one that lives fully in each and every moment. I didn’t realize that along the way I was in the process of healing and had actually healed roots and when your roots heal you have no where else to grow but up.
Long before the kids, there were countless days spent dreaming; just this kid, this girl. Those feelings and dreams that she had are just as real today as they were back then. The only difference is the gray in my hair, the laugh lines on my face, and this aging body, the vessel that carries my wild heart. I realized in 2017 that my dreams have always been waiting, waiting for me to meet up with them. Not late, not early, but in the ever so perfect imperfection called life, waiting for me to get there. When that realization happens, you reframe your mind and the thoughts that inhabit it. The framework of my life began to shift when I started putting what I needed to protect, first. Protecting my family, dreams, goals, and happiness.
Life can often times put us into routines. Schools, church, jobs, and suddenly life becomes a series of checklists instead of simply living. As a pilot, my life revolves around checklists so I can greatly see the need for them. If I am solely fixated on a checklist, is it really flying though? Is flying just a science, just the mechanical, or is flying something more?
So while 2017 took my heart and family to places I only dreamt of, 2018 started with doing. To stop waiting and not be afraid of the mess. Most of life is a mess so just roll with it.
In the moments just before midnight 2017 a friend looked at this wall that divided two rooms in my home and said, “Do you have a hammer? Because you can take that down right now.” With a smile and lots of giggles, I ran to get a hammer. I will say that in hindsight the clean up would have been far easier if I had laid out a tarp. But there was something so freeing in the spontaneity and so “towanda!!!” as I was tearing down for light that would completely change the day to day atmosphere of my home.
All the years leading up to this have brought my family and I to this moment, and I am choosing to act upon those dreams. The dream to make secret fairy doors in my house for my kids to laugh and secret away in hidden passageways like “Webster”. To build and shape airplane wings in my very home with my children. That someday is today. To act by stepping out with faith that I get to have the most amazing platform as a First Officer to reach more children and adults with the love of flight. To also embark upon an even greater adventure of adopting another child. There are many stigmas in the world, many labels, and those that look upon me as as single mom thinking I must be hoping to get remarried, or “find” someone. What they don’t know is that I did find someone: Me. The greatest romance is to live a life that is filled with passion and to share that with my children. On this road I’ve realized there is room at your table for more, and when your house is overflowing with love you don’t wait for the world to tell you when you should add to your family but listen to your God-given heart. So yes, this mom of three is on her way to being a mom of four. More hands to hold and memories to unfold.
Together this home will build a story together. Our story.
May 2018 be a reminder to you that every day offers a greater depth and love for the great story of your life as well.