I had a blog written up ready to go when life happened and the mama bear came out. We’ve had issues with my sons teacher this whole year. A teacher who has over stepped over boundaries stating false reasons a child would be held back from continuing to third grade, and making recommendations to parents they should medicate their child. To my knowledge, this has gone undisciplined in the school.
It was not until I had kids until i finally realized how mean people can be. Not just Kids. Kids can be assholes, (and I actually teach my children that and use that word). Teachers, can be assholes too (something I also teach). Why someone bitter about life would ever teach a child is really beyond me. My son who fits the “profile”, low income, single mom, absent father, had a teacher recently who literally requested children to tell them multiple times they have to pee, and unless they specifically tell her it’s an emergency she says no. Well, my son being the kid he is tells her she has to pee twice. Then asked AGAIN, and was told no. So he went and then peed his pants. I wish he would have practiced what I taught them about that, if you have to use the restroom you are telling them you are leaving, not asking, you certainly do not need their blessing and I can assure you if the teacher had to go they would go and not disclose for the reason other than they were going to use the restroom. That day I received a message from his teacher talking about what a hard morning he had, (blah blah blah, grumpy, blah blah blah, bad mood) and how he asked her multiple times to use the restroom. Her response was that he became defiant when she said no and then reverted to blame him because he didn’t tell her it’s an emergency. Now I’m not sure where you you come from but I’ve taught my kids an emergency is one that calls for the emergency room or 911. Now, peeing in your pants may be unsanitary but am pretty safe to say If I called 911… they would ask other questions like are they unconscious and so forth. Peeing is not an emergency. And peeing or what my son does in the bathroom is really not something he needs to verbalize in front of his peers.
This teacher refused to apologize to my son or myself even though the teacher went against district policy. The response from the teacher was that he still needs to follow “her” protocol and say if it’s an emergency. A week later, I received his progress report and it says things like “he can’t control himself” “he doesn’t respect himself or others”, “doesn’t listen to guidance” “doesn’t listen to directions”… and i just about lost it.Not one note has ever been sent home, not one email, no phone calls, no texts about any of the items addressed on this progress report. I have heard nothing about my child about his behavior or especially about disrespect towards others. In fact earlier in the year on the bus he was telling a bully to stop picking on his friend when he was choked. He’s that kid that stands up for injustice and also the kid who wants to be a police officer. He sees more about personalities and people than most adults do. His response even about this incident was that his teacher was going through a lot and that her son was sick (flu). The same kid who’s teacher is ripping him up is saying, ” hey mom maybe she’s hurting and tired.” Even after he’s written up for seemingly “not” respecting people he showed grace. That’s when it dawned on me that my child had more depth and understanding than this teacher had showed him. He didn’t need an apology from her because he already recognized the error and it had nothing to do with him. He is eight years old.
Tomorrow I await a phone conversation from the principal, whom I let know my son can sit in the attendance office until they put him in a new classroom. It’s only had me contemplate even more homeschooling my children again. Have the schools really become so focused on checking boxes and passing tests that we have forgotten how to stoke the fire for the joy of learning? It is wildly magical and exciting. What a gift it is to teach. As a teacher you have a front row seat and impacting someones life in the learning process! Go figure that the lesson this teacher has taught my son had nothing to do with the curriculum but my son recognizing that her behavior had nothing to do with him.
To his teacher, it’s already evident that an apology that has to be forced is not from someone who is contrite, I hope that you find peace in whatever chaos you are experiencing now.
To my son, thank you, for continuing to be the human I strive to be more like. The world needs more of you…never stop doing the right thing.